Thursday, August 18, 2011

Bitter memories of the stock room


“I’m cheerful and helpful and I can do anything! Just you wait!”
The average retail employee, fresh out of training

“I have lost all faith in humanity. You’ve sucked away my will to live. I will ring you through, but truly, I won’t give a damn.”
The average retail employee after a year of working

“I wanna pony, and a castle, and, and, and, and the MOON! And if you don’t get me all these things NOW, I will scream and flail and hate you for the rest of your life! NOW!”
Too many customers at any retail job, from ages five to eighty-five

"Yes, the customer smashed the displays, spat in your face and stole your pocket change, but they're the customer. They're always right. Sorry, but you're fired for standing up for yourself."
Roughly half of retail managers

"Get out of my store. Now."
The other, awesome half of retail managers, shortly after a terrible customer incident and shortly before giving their workers props 

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