"I'm surrounded by tons of sexy women, but bad stuff usually happens to them. I'm not sure how to take that."
Spider-Man, the unluckiest lucky bastard ever
"Otto Octavius is your name? How unusual... hmm... yes... well, you do have an impressive resume, and I will admit that you would fit in nicely at our restaurant as management, but to be honest we only really want you in one position: dishwasher. Your extra arms would increase our productivity immensely."
A recruiter for Denny's, unaware that Doctor Octopus won't accept anything less than a salaried position - and rewards all other offers with blood
"Well, yeah, I suppose I do like killing a bit much, but... that's kinda... my thing, you know? It's what I do. I don't have many other hobbies. I liked woodworking as a kid, but then I killed my dad with the saw, soooo... why expand when you're already good at something?"
Carnage, stopped short while attacking an amateur psychoanalyst
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