"They're zombies. They're slow. We don't have to worry."
Soon-to-be unfortunate victims in a movie populated by 'fast' zombies
"I want a girl with brains. You know, smarts. Intelligent. Big, juicy lobes. That would be great. Call me, ladies! Brains!"
Zombie, masquerading as a suitor on an online dating service
"Me? I'm not a gravekeeper. I'm the first line of defense in a battle that's coming. I've sacrificed my life and career to safeguard mankind! Just you wait, the end's coming, and when it does 'ol Jed will be ready! I won't let those buggers get so much as a finger out of their graves!"
Stir-crazy caretaker who's watched too many horror movies
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