"If I buy a new laptop, it will be outdated within minutes. If I replace that laptop, then the replacement, too, will be outdated within minutes. The cycle is endless. I'll stick with growing carrots, thanks."
A wise man
"Your computer is broken? What seems to be the problem? Uh huh... uh huh... can't find the Any key? Okay, sir, here's what you're going to do. First, grab your phone. No, no, the base. The thingy with the buttons. Got it? Good. Now look on it for a button that says 'Off' or a grey switch you can depress or something. Hit that and your problem should be solved."
A long-suffering call center tech
"We win."
Bill Gates to Steve Jobs, shortly before clinking their wine glasses together
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