"Lord Voldemort? More like Lord Mouldymort! Because he was... like... bald, and... really ugly... I guess... and now he's dead, 'cause I killed him and stuff... Mouldymort? Anybody? Is this thing on?"
Harry Potter, former hero of the wizarding world and short-lived stand-up comic
"Who gives a damn if I'm gay? I'm still awesome."
Albus Dumbledore, the friendly badass
"My family is poor and constantly mocked, one brother travels abroad all the time, the other is part werewolf or something and is married to a sex goddess, the twins are insane and my sister is shacked up with my best friend. Yeah, I may be a prig about relationships, but let's see YOU be normal under those circumstances!"
Ron Weasley, on his rocky romances
"My fandom creeps the hell out of me. You have no idea."
Draco Malfoy, eternal boy-toy
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